Elevator stories #7: In, out or DIE

The fun I have in elevators has no limits and could very well border on the sociopathic.

During dinner break, I was in a lift with several other work colleagues. We were on our way to the building canteen for some dirt cheap dinner. True to form, meals there are known to taste a little bit like dirt.

So anyway, hungry but a cheerful group, we piled into the open elevator. I stood next to the control panel because I’m a big elevator control freak and pressed the door open button while waiting for my workmates to come inside. There were others behind us, a couple from a different company. I waited patiently. They stood in the doorway and lingered there while the guy spoke to someone outside my line of vision. This third person wasn’t riding with us. I wasn’t really in a hurry nor was I particularly hungry but I found this guy’s behavior inconsiderate. I shall educate him, I thought mischievously. I pressed the door close button briefly and let the doors close in on the couple a little, not touching them but startling them enough to cause them to stop talking and hustle inside. Aww, and they were having such a nice chat and all! It’s just in or out, bitches, stay in the middle and risk being crushed to death! Some do-gooder behind me made to press the door opening button but I switched buttons quickly, making him withdraw. I’m sure he thought I didn’t mean to do it on purpose. Oh but I did. Then I heard myself laugh maniacally in my head. 

Once inside, the slightly shaken couple composed themselves and were silent. I pressed the door close button for the last time, my face devoid of expression.

Going up.