TV’s busted

The remote control’s batteries died a couple of weeks ago and since then, I haven’t been watching television because I’m too lazy to get up and flip channels. I’m not much of a TV watcher but I do watch it from time to time, see what kind of adventures Bear Grylls gets himself up to, see who’s declared war on who, which are the latest killers caught on CSI, and then watching the cheesier French knock-off one on TV5. I wish they hadn’t pulled that out of regular programming. I like to have the TV on sleep before I go to bed, just like a night light. And I’m beginning to miss it.

I tried watching TV just now, I was standing right in front of it, making my way up the channels, looking for something good. I didn’t realise that the down button was broken! So I kept going up. And at some point, I decided the volume was too high so I tried to decrease the volume. Only the volume’s down button was broken too! It increased the volume instead! I tried the up button, maybe somehow the wiring got all messed up. Nope. I have 2 volume up buttons and 2 channel up buttons. I kept trying until the volume reached level 23. I had to give up after I started losing hearing in my right ear. Ugh.

Ok I can’t keep writing. The neighborhood dogs are going crazier than usual, bloody noisy hounds. And now I know why! There are christmas carolers (carollers?) about. Fuck they’re scary, they sound like dead people singing.

They’re singing right outside our house! They sound like old men without teeth and I have a mental image of ghosts forever damned to roam the earth, singing christmas songs hauntingly. Really slow and deep and monotonous.. “Siiiilent niiiight. Hooooolyyyy niiiight..”

My sister said that maybe they’re people with special needs and that I was mean.

These people come over to my house to wish me happy holidays. Okay thanks a lot, I’m looking forward to the nightmares I’ll be having for a whole month!