So I’m clearly still failing on the regular updates. I hardly have time to breathe these days, but I know that’s not an excuse. It is true though. I’m annoyed that this whole year is busy. I am naturally lazy and I don’t like this busy business.
Oh and I’ve recently banned myself from socialising for the next month or so. That includes facebook, also known as that big black hole from hell. If I’m good, I can start hanging out, chilling and thread-commenting to my heart’s content again by the end of this month but chances are the ban will be in effect until end of June. Actually I may have pissed off a few people by this self-imposed ban. Fuck ’em. They just wanted to get in my pants anyway. To think, I was semi-charmed a few times. My despondency has made me vulnerable. Incidentally I have a rant about that (the seduction attempts, not the despondency), which I hope to get to either tomorrow or this weekend. I am SO fed up with that shit. It never has anything to do with me, it’s almost always just horniness. Ugh. Yeah I’ll go into detail on that another time. I’ll probably miss the attention when I’m 50. Yeah. But then it’s of the piggish variety so yeah MAYBE NOT.
So anyway, my plight sucks a little cos I like hanging out, chilling and thread-commenting and there’s always something fun to do round these parts, like catching up with friends I haven’t seen in ages tonight or poker tomorrow (huhu) and the footy on Monday! But it’s for my own good and I probably should be cutting down on unnecessary expenses anyway. In any case, I do like to concentrate on getting schooly things done and done as best as I can do them.
Apart from that, I’m also busy with househunting which was exciting for about a week. Now I can’t be bothered. The girls can sort out the research, was slightly put off after having some of my suggestions shut down only to have them resurface later on as someone else’s. But no dramas.
So this Saturday’s going to be another day of looking at rooms and checking water pressure and ceiling cracks and photocopying IDs and filling out applications. It’s a fun headache, if that makes sense. I admit I’m slightly worried about moving out because work’s cutting down on my shifts this month and for a while there, I thought I was going to have to look for another job. But I found out today that they’ve scheduled me to do some training so they’ll probably keep me around for a few more months. Ah, job insecurity. The screaming headache that has been my life this past year.
As for my emotional state, I have been properly melancholy for the last week or so. This week has been particularly rough, finances to think about, missing family and hugs. The school projects are all blending into each other, I don’t know anymore when any of them are due, I just assume they needed to get done last week. And not to be a wet blanket here but I’ve also been concerned about my mother’s health. I’ve never spoken, much less written, about it openly till now but frankly, I’ve been rattled by it for the past couple of years now. I’m still shaking to the core when I think of my parents’ mortality. But who knows, I could go before they do. Which is in some small way, strangely comforting. That line of thought is selfish but effectively distracting. I will talk about something inane now.
So anyway, life is good even though I got drenched after walking in the rain for 20 minutes this morning. It means I really should buy an umbrella already.
Leaves are turning a beautiful colour and are continuing to fall fall fall. It’s definitely a lot colder these days so I’m inclined to believe that the melancholia was brought on by seasonal transition. It all just needed a bit of adjusting, that’s all.