One monument

This is what I said yesterday while I was transferring a customer’s call to the service department. After over a month of working as a receptionist for a car dealership, while there’s been some improvement, I still have moments of retardation.

“Good morning, ___________ Honda, this is Chris speaking”

“Hi Chris, could you please transfer me to the service department”

“One monument”

One monumental ass, that is. I transferred her quickly before I made it worse by unprofessionally laughing my head off.

Reception jobs are not the hardest to do in the world but it does require a certain type of personality and demands a certain skill set, neither of which comes naturally to me, to my dismay. Which, positively speaking, is a good thing as I am learning. I am quite certain I got this job by accidentally exposing a lot of cleavage. Hey, the shirt I wore to the interview tends to ride low, okay?

There’s just too many buttons on the stupid gigantic phone system. I keep fat-fingering, transferring to wrong extensions and switching from day to night mode (night mode switches the after-hours machine on). I’m absolutely hopeless. To make matters worse, I have to page people over a very loud PA system that can be heard in the garage, the showrooms, the offices, the annexed cafe – EVERYWHERE.

I work long hours so I’m very glad I only work there once a week. It’s a pretty successful dealership, which means more administration work,  translating into a permanent Saturday job for me. Initially I couldn’t even think about going out after work, I pretty much just went home to collapse into bed. Then I thought it might be a better idea to go out on Friday nights instead. Bad move. One time I got home exhausted and buzzed at 3am and I had to be up in 3 hours. Then I had to endure 10 hours at work and pretend to be perky and pretty. It was a nightmare. I’ve done this twice, suffered massively and there’s no guarantee that I won’t do it again.

It’s funny because I know fuck-all about cars and could not care less about them. And as much as I think it’s too late to save the planet, I’m not going to be a dick about it and stop doing my bit. Manufacturing cars use up a lot of energy and they emit all sorts of bad-for-the-environment-stuff (but then so do plenty of other things). Besides my current lifestyle doesn’t require a car. I get by alright using public transport but my colleagues are absolutely horrified when they find out I don’t own a car.

“Ok see you next week, where’d you park your car?”

“Oh I haven’t got one, I take the train and it’s only a 15 minute walk to the station from here.”

“You poor thing! I’ll give you a lift there! When are you getting a car?”

“Oh well, I dunno maybe later this year” (this is very noncommittal on my part because I really don’t want one)

And so it goes. Someone who lives 5 minutes away from me has taken it upon himself to drive me home (in his race car complete with turbo charger, I’m not joking) and I will not say no to that. Instead of my usual crazy travel (15 min walk, 20 min tram, 20 min train, another 15 min walk, not to mention the wait time between connections), it takes me less than half an hour to get home. And I am considerably less fatigued.

I’ll have to talk about the other job I do full-time during the week another time. That’s a funny one. Apart from my toxic-gas-emit-happy job, I’ve also been working for a water company that prides itself on being on top of sustainability development and environmental issues. All in all, I’ve got opposing ends of the sustainability spectrum covered. And still have time to do my volunteer/practice translation, the household chores (unfortunately you have to do your own fucking chores in the first world), socialising and random freelance design work. I’m currently working on a logo/business card/website project and am getting paid HEAPS. I’m also in the process of creating a happy design-whatever-comes-to-mind partnership with a friend. Honestly I don’t know how I’m doing all this. Better time management, perhaps?

One monument, indeed.

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