Oh wait there’s more

I forgot to tell you about a funny and a bit annoying story that happened to me recently.

As you know, I’ve made a number of friends and acquaintances in my time here. I’ve found a few gems whom I am absolutely delighted with and with those gems came a whole basket of rotten apples, some sleazier than others. There is one I kind of suspect is a serial killer. Fits the profile. White male in his 30s, looks harmless, not bad-looking and good at charming unsuspecting and rather attractive women (because this is my blog, I will refer to myself as a rather attractive woman, quite the minx if I do say so myself). I must be on my toes with this one. Either I stop watching the crime channel (I do believe Serial Killer Sunday is responsible for this runaway paranoia of mine) or I stop replying to this guy’s texts and calls. I don’t wish to be murdered anytime soon so I will probably do the sensible thing here. But he is so charming. I’m joking, of course.

But this story isn’t about Simon, if that is his real name.

This story is about Manu. A very successful man in his 30s, I don’t know exactly how old he is since I haven’t been curious enough to ask. I suppose he’s an attractive fellow but unfortunately shaped like a dad. Like most men end up looking anyway but I’d really like to have a few years with someone who doesn’t already look like a parent. If that’s not too much to ask. I’m going to die forever unpartnered, aren’t I?

Anyway all superficiality aside, I think he has about 4 degrees, one of which is a law one. I guess he’s smart. Not sure what his other academic qualifications are, I’m pretty sure he’s mentioned all this before but he talks so much that he’ll probably come full circle one of these days and I’ll have another shot at his basic info.

Now Manu and I have become friends. He was rather forward from the get-go which I mostly ignored the first time I met him because I was already inebriated before I was even introduced to him. I know I told him from the beginning that I’m not keen on a relationship right now, I’m sure of this because that’s always been my default stance when it comes to people who display some sort of interest. That is, until I fall in love. Then everything goes out the window. I just got out of a long and meaningful one this year (this explains a lot of my reticence the past several months) and because it was meaningful, the end was also very painful. I’m okay now, thanks for asking and I am praying that no romantic love happens to me in the next few years. I’m not bitter at all, for which I am very grateful because it hasn’t been easy. I thought I would end up embittered and hateful. Rest assured, I am neither. I allowed myself to mourn properly and since then I have re-set some priorities and re-aligned some plans, and right now I am on track and I really don’t want distractions unless it’s the real McCoy. Thankfully, the falling in love thing has been a very infrequent occurrence in my life. But it’s certainly one of the more interesting nuisances one encounters in one’s life.

Ok back to Manu. So Manu becomes enamored of me and starts off rather aggressive. Which I’m really not into, I’ve decided. I wasn’t even flattered, just icked by the persistent hand-grabbing and arm-around-the-shouldering. It’s weird and just fake when strangers do it.

Anyway, we hang out a few times and conversation is passable, sometimes even enjoyable but nothing mindblowing. You’d think one would make an incredible conversationalist after having obtained 4 degrees. I think he felt like we had some kind of intellectual connection. Whatever. I’m getting ahead of myself. I really can’t wait to finish this story.

But let me tell you, this guy is a talker. He seems to like hearing himself talk. He’s talked me to the point of sobriety once and I remember feeling numb with exhaustion. Haha I find that really funny now. In fact, I really hate missing his phone calls because then he’d leave voicemail and I’d check my messages and spend about 10 minutes listening to him talk. Ugh so tedious. I have a problem with chatty men. And fresh fuckers at that.

So he tells me about his life and how amazing he has it. To clarify, he wasn’t emptily arrogant or anything, I’m sure he worked really hard for all he has achieved so far. I think we just didn’t click and I guess he thought we did and that made me feel more reluctant to hang out. And he, being armed with a healthy sexual appetite (yes he generously offered this info and he was absolutely shocked that I am one that remains largely sexually uninterested unless strong emotions are involved…then I am RAWR) and his 4 academic degrees and financial success, was certainly more than up to the challenge of convincing me, a nothing student-again person, to start something with him. Obviously my sexy body intrigued him.

Then I got busy and a lot of shit hit the fan in my life and school and work became a major issue and I had to say bye bye to $5,000 and then run around and sort things out. Bad stuff.

So naturally I wasn’t up to doing much socialising. Long story short, he thought I wasn’t “investing enough energy” into our “friendship” and he felt like he was putting in all the effort. He wrote me a rather lengthy email after I hemmed and hawed about meeting up before he flew home for Christmas. In retrospect, thank God he didn’t call me to talk about it and my ear off in the process.

I was more amused than irritated. But definitely icked because he caused a stink and I had to do something about it and I really really did not want to.

So I said look Manu that’s fair enough but you know what’s been going on in my life right now, of course I want to hang out with friends but I’ve had to deal with events and make decisions that will affect the next 2-3 years of my life and I know I seem laidback about it all but I really think this warrants some looking into and so that’s what I’m doing. Also I noticed you like to book your entire week solid with events and dates while I usually like to play it by ear. Plus (and this is the palpable hit) friends don’t try to nuzzle and kiss each other’s necks and I don’t want you to think I’m interested and just playing hard to get. It was nice knowing you and enjoy the holidays.

He rang me a few days after that but I didn’t hear the phone ring so he left a message that was like half an hour long.  I had actually hoped he would walk away after that last email but maybe he is now a man on a mission. He called again on Christmas day and said he was waiting for his flight. I would have probably saved myself all this trouble if I had just left his email unanswered but that wouldn’t have been very nice and I did say I’m open to friendship. He pretty much just wants to get in my pants and I’m pretty sure I don’t so I really don’t know what he wants with me now. He goes on heaps of dates and he has told me he has slept with some of them so why all this fuss over someone who is potentially frigid?

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